From Ray to Ray

Just a few days ago I acknowledged another anniversary of my brother's death. Ray was killed in 1981 in a car crash with a drunken driver in Sacramento. I try not to think of this too often, this horrific turning place in my life and the lives of my parents. Of the fact that he died on my best friend's birthday and that every year now, I celebrate her life while I mourn his death at 29.

But I also thank God for the miracle of my own son, Ray - after the uncle he never knew. My Ray went off to college this year. Responsible, creative, motivated ... far from home. Boy, do we miss him.

I remember my mother telling me once that she felt responsible for my brother's death. He had wanted to come home from law school, and she and Dad encouraged him to stick it out. If only he had come home, she said.

But that was fruitless talk. Perhaps the crash would have found him wherever he was. No sense in going after if's. My Ray is nonetheless not my parents' Ray. And maybe neither of them really were ours anyway.

We and our loved ones belong to the world, and I am learning now to see Ray as my gift to that world. I can't harbor him in my arms forever, but there is that place in my heart.

Miss Tif's Day at School

Miss Tiffany's Day at School. Right now Miss Tif is wondering, "What if HE just wants to be my friend?" And her answer to herself is, "I don't need any more friends." But this, of course, has nothing to do with this post. Miss Tiffany is a first-grade teacher's aid, and had some interesting conversations with the yung'uns today. It started with Timmy's (name changed to protect the guilty) cousin who "dot awested cause she lied to a top." No, no, Timmy, Miss Tif says, Now remember, we don't ever lie to police officers. Then, Suzy came out with, "My dad's in and out of jail, but my stepdad isn't, so that's OK." To which Miss Tif said, way to go, way to see the BRIGHT SIDE. And then she hears about Freddie's dad getting pulled over for drinking and driving to which she says, sometimes dads forget it's not good to drink and drive and we need to remind them. But not to be upstaged, one little girl says, "Then, you might have heard it in the news, my my mom's best friend got arrested because she mistook her baby for a turkey and chopped it up and ate its brains." What can you say to that? We don't talk about that sort of thing in school.

Amen.

So this, Ray, may make you want to change your mind about careers. The teaching profession not only has a lot to offer, but some really interesting stories as well.